My Blog

Been busy days.. no time to write or post a blog..
at least now I could write somethin’, just a song from Savage Garden…

I knew I Loved You

Maybe it’s intuition

but some things you just don’t question

Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant

And there it goes,

I think I found my best friend

I know that it might sound

more than a little crazy

but I believe…

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

There’s just no rhyme or reason

Only the sense of completion

And in your eyes, I see

the missing pieces I’m searching for

I think I’ve found my way home

I know that it might sound

more than a little crazy

but I believe…

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you

I am complete now that I’ve found you

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

(To Fade)

so the lyrics goes… a sign of another war, a war in me, a war against me…
kinna strange war , it seems.. but that’s the war i have.. at this moment, at this very moment…
wanna deny and end the war.. just couldn’t…
one said for feeling somethin’ strange in me.. guess you’re right.. but still, can’t win the fight..
how could i win the fight? do i win the fight if i could deny the strange feeling i have.. ot in the contrary way? i know, it’s not something to be a fight for me.. but, one thing still goes in me… the thing that has been there for ages…

please, help me out of this war….
and live peacefully… not rest in peace..

WAR……………………….

entah, just wanna write something on somewhere…

shifting? may.. maybe yes.. maybe not..

just suddenly the feeling of lonely comes… feels like I’m in the middle of nowhere with no one around.. jadi teringat akan status diri, di usia yang tak lagi dini, tapi masih sendiri… tapi, ya.. maafkanlah kaslau saya bisa melaksanakan sunnah Rasul yang satu ini. aku masih berusaha untuk berfikir secara positiv, kalo aku emang belum di kasih ijin sama Yang Maha Kuasa. tak peduli akan ledekan atau ejekan atau kata2 dari siapapun, yang aku tau hanya ijin-Nya yang belum turun untukku. Tapi memang waktu sudah berjalan terlalu lama, mungkin. 2 tahun setelah kisah terakhir berakhir, aku masih sendiri dan mengacuhkan semua rasa yang berhubungan dengan ketertarikan dengan lawan jenis atau sesama jenis. salah juga mungkin. perasaanku jadi semakin tidak peka sama kasih sayang; sementara kasih sayang hanya diekspresikan dengan verb ‘memberi’.

tapi apa guna untuk dipermasalahkan, ga akan ada yang peduli sama sebuah rasa kesendirian. kecuali kesendirianku kemudian menngganggu ketenangan orang lain. tapi aku berusaha untuk tidak mengganggu orang lain. memang pada dasarnya, kita harus sendiri.

sebuah ruangan dengan 6 dinding pembatas, dan segala aktifitas di pekerjaanku masih tetap menemani dan mengalihkan diri dari kesendirian.

my love lives in two places, my b(r)atcave ‘n my office.

Love you,